Tins r happenin'

Alright!

So I have promised myself that I am not going to start with any lame promises about how I am back to blogsville for good and will post at least once every week and yada yada yada. I think I have proved to myself and to my one (or is it two sef) followers that I am incapable of keeping that promise. The exigencies or work crowd my plate and I barely have enough space for myself. Anyway, my work self has apologized to my blogging self for selfishly taking all of our time and my blogging self has graciously accepted the apology...lol! Abeg o!! I no fit shout!

So quite a lot has happened to me and to the world since the last time I was here. Michael Jackson passed on and I was amazed at the sheer outflow of emotions that trailed the passage of this man who was usually a victim of global villification for most of his life time. I mean, the last time I remember seeing people of all nations so unified in grief was after 9/11 when Osama bin Hiden's ( where the hell is that dude newayz?) goons brought down WTC.

Even my grand-aunt in the village heard of the passing of the legend and she was so sad she lost her appetite...lol. Even though M.J. has proved to be even more controversial in death than he was alive, I still mourn the passing of this mega-talented dude who in my opinion, was hounded out of life by the very people who are shedding crocodile tears now.

A moment of silence for Michael: May his soul rest in peace.

Another great guy that passed on during this time was my dad. Yep! He passed on at the ripe old age of 92. My first reaction when I heard of his death was: "My father cannot die!!!" Don't blame me. When you know a my father like I knew him, you just can't begin to conjure up images of him lying down lifeless. He was so full of life and verve...I'll dedicate my next blog entry to my father. He was a great guy. Another moment of silence: Rest in peace sir.

Oh yes!

There's been a major shake-up in the banking industry with some bank ogas who before now paraded squeaky clean credentials, thrown out of work and handed over to the corruption investigation agencies for alleged abuse of office. The charges are overwhelming and will be damning if proved as true at the end of the day. While good old cynical me says nothing will come out of all the drama at the end of the day, a larger part of me hopes that that the new CBN helmsman follows through on ensuring that these people face the law if found guilty.

Maybe then, we can start taking ourselves serious about fighting the hydra called corruption.

I say I dey come...

Not as strong as I thot

I pride myself with always been in control of my life and emotions. I was never agitated or panicky about what tomorrow would bring. I used to tell myself that the headache of surviving the next minute was enough and so I would take every day as it came and make the best of it.

I am not given to much talking because I grew up with a mind set that there was strength in silence; a certain impenetrable resilience occassioned by my operating in my soundless void. So even while in the presence or company of a cacophonous mob like my group of friends, I was always the "extremely quiet and inscrutable" one.

That is, perhaps, why I don't indulge in achohol. I fear that my tongue will get loosened in my inebriated stage and I would give too much away. So while I sometimes admire the wanton liberties that come with inebriation observed in others, I would stoically stick to my non-achoholic beverages. My friends, (that riotous bunch of youths I hang and roll with) would always throw jabs at me by ordering "pure water" for me whenever we hang out. lol. I was like the proverbial "whitened sepulchre" Cool and calm on the exterior, but deep withing, another story all together.

I used to feel like I needed to be responsible for my actions and decisions, however they turned out. It would kinda feel silly to me if I had to explain away a bad outcome with the dim witted excuse that I was drunk and out of my mind. I was reading recently about a popular celebrity who got drunk and rammed her SUV into another car, killing the occupant, a young and upwardly mobile medical practitioner.

Bottomline is that I used to feel like I was always in control of my emotions. Which is why I am a bit baffled by my recent emotional disposition to certain life-changing occurences in my life.

Firstly, it was the panic that gripped me during the recent "right-sizing" (read, RETRENCHMENT) that happened at my workplace. The issue then was that it suddenly occured to me that if I was affected, I did not have a Plan B. I had poured my entire life and resources into one pot and now that pot had developed holes and was now sinking fast. Worse still, I didn't even have the proverbial straw to cling to. Thankfully, that exercise came and went and I am still here (still have a job, that is.)

I heaved a sigh of relief, but I guess I did that too soon. My services to the business has been outsourced to another company. In a very short while, I would have a different employer. Now, I would most likely be sitting at the same desk I am now and carrying out the same functions I am carrying out now. But my paymaster would be different.

As if that wasn't bad enough, my little girl turned two recently (happy birthday luv) and it is suddenly dawning on me that she is growing into a young lady and it is my responsibility to equip her with the resources she would need to survive in life. The thing is that I am beginning to question my parenting skills:

Do I spend enough time with her?

Am I morally and spiritually grounded enough to give her the kind of instructions she would require to make those tough decisions in life as she grows older?

Do I have my finances sorted out well enough to ensure she will never have to be sent away from school "because daddy has not (read, CANNOT) pay my fees?

Its somewhat unsettling to note that I have not been able to give myself convincing answers to these posers though I have spent quite some time ruminating on them. It keeps me awake for long hours during the night.

As if that wasn't bad enough, we recently took delivery of number 2; a healthy, fair-complexioned, 4.2kg bundle of joy. Huge boy, I tell you!!! Lol. Suddenly, my sleepessness has doubled...Lord help me.

Spoke to a friend and he told me I must be going through a mid-life crises. It sounded like a logical explanation until it occured to me...I have not reached what I would term mid-life yet!! Perhaps the way i feel right now is a consequence of certain wrong decisions I took earlier on in life. Or perhaps, i am just not as strong as I once thought I was...

I dey come...

Scary!!

Perhaps a bit of a background before I go into my gist.

I work for a multi-national company, which is currently in the throes of "right-sizing (read down-sizing) no thanks to the current global economic crunch. The bottom line is that there is a lot of re-structuring going on and nobody is sure whether they will be asked to stay or leave. Everyone is waiting with bated breath for the final report and the release of the new organogram.

So, you can imagine my horror when I received a text very late at night yesterday, from my company's "service desk" informing me that I had been scheduled for a one on one meeting with my director. The text was however, silent on the agenda of the meeting. Whoa!!!!!!

I experienced for the first time in my life, what is commonly described as cold sweat; you know, that feeling where you have chills running all through your body and break out sweating like a Christmas goat all at once. (do they actually sweat?)

Now folks, a meeting with my director would normally not even earn a second thought from me. But in this uncertain times, that sounded like a death knell. I mean this meeting is so important that they had to send me an sms at close to midnight rather than wait for me to get into my office the next day. This was definitely no ordinary meeting. I looked across at my little tot running around the living room happily screaming at the top of her voice; I looked forlornly at my heavily pregnant wife lying on the sofa across from me. Only one thought came to my mind: What do I do if my director informs me that I am one of those declared surplus to requirement by the company?!!!!

It is strange how minor things like a text message in the middle of the night can jolt you and cause your whole life to flash before your eyes. Make you realize that you are actually walking on thin ice that could give way any minute. I couldn't sleep anymore. What's worse, I couldn't tell my wife about my fears cos I didn't want her getting all worried and upset in her condition. My mind just kept doing somersaults into a future, which had suddenly taken on a grey hue. Questions were climbing over one another in my mind:

Am I out of a job?

Would I get another?

How long would it take before I get anothe rjob?

Do I still want to work for someone or should I see it as the hand of God and pursue my personal dreams?

How long will my grossly depleted savings last?

So many questions in my head but no answer was forthcoming.

Thankfully, I woke up a short while later, sweating profusely and heaving a sigh of relief when I realized it was all a dream. Or was it? I wondered as I reached for my phone. Sure enough, there was an unread text message on it: I was too scared to open it...when i eventually got the courage to do so, i realized it was just a text advertizing one of ur products to all customers...

Am I getting paranoid? You answer me.

I say I dey come...

Just Checking!!

I was just checking to see if I am still on blogosphere...yup! I am!

Been ages aint it guys? Just been away for such a long time. So much happening around and in me that I just can't seem to pull my thots together well enough to write anything.

So much has happened since I was last here...we now have a black American President people. (do I hear an amen?) On the down side however, the global economy is on recession. (why did it have to wait until we have a black man at the helm? Now they are going to blame us blacks for the poor global economy. Neways,) The most scary part of the whole meltdown thingy is the fact that there has been a surge in job losses globally. Right-sizing, down-sizing, whatever men. Bottom line, niccas are having their behinds kicked to the curb as businesses struggle to mitigate their losses and stay afloat.

While country's like the USA have planned and are executing well thought out bail out plans, my country, Nigeria, is as usual, playing the ostrich with its head in buried in the sand. It is instructive to note that Charles Soludo, the dude in charge of the central bank doesn't even think that the Nigerian economy is under any threat of depression. Thats almost as crazy as people still believing the farcical claim by some that HIV/AIDS is the "white man's disease!!!" Really crazy I tell you. But while Soludo and his employers live in their utopic cocoon, totally immunized from the pervasive financial crises, the Naira is plunging down a steep slope against the Dollar. 180 Naira to $1USD people!!!!!!

To worsen matters, the government picked these hard times to remove subsidy from petrol! Y'all know what that means right? The retail price of fuel will shoot for the moon and take every thing else with it. Already, the cost of basic consumables has risen by as much as 25% in some areas and is still rising. The future is looking very bleak. God help us in these times...

Speaking of God's help, I was reviewing the recent US elections, paying special attention to the man Barack Obama. The man that came from near obscurity and swept in to our consciousness, running a race with such vigour and verve. I am wondering: Who is this man? I have my fears...but I'll save that for another day's discussion.

In Edo State, Osunbor is out and Oshiomole is in as Governor, thanks to our judiciary that ruled in favour of the people's wish. Now we can only hope that he converts some of his suave rhetorics to action aimed at turning around the State. Mimiko is also in to replace Agagu as Ondo State governor following the latter's ouster by the courts. One hopes these young turks will not let their people down.

Ok y'all, I'm back for good this time. I'll see you in a bit.