So many years ago, I started this blog. I was on it, on and off sharing things that mattered to me...at that time. Then I totally lost interest and basically drifted away with life.
Thanks to a friend, I stumbled back on the blog and I was pleasantly surprised to see that it was still up and all of the articles were still intact.
Glimpses of my thoughts from way back when I was still a little innocent (*cough*) and didn't have much of a care in the world. A time when I was just discovering life and it held so many promises. It felt like discovering gold. It was like unearthing a time capsule.
A lot of time has passed and chance hasn't been so charitable. But we are still here. My boy marked his eleventh birthday yesterday. I mentioned him in one of my last posts here before I hibernated. Hard to believe all of that time has passed.
There have been storms and sunshine; hell and high water. Can't say I have changed much from the man I was back then. Perhaps I have grown even more disillusioned. But one thing I can guarantee is that I am going to give this life one hell of a fight. I am going to keep pushing till something gives.
I owe that to all of the people that somehow believe in me and my so-called life.
Saturday, May 16, 2020
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Tins r happenin'
Alright!
So I have promised myself that I am not going to start with any lame promises about how I am back to blogsville for good and will post at least once every week and yada yada yada. I think I have proved to myself and to my one (or is it two sef) followers that I am incapable of keeping that promise. The exigencies or work crowd my plate and I barely have enough space for myself. Anyway, my work self has apologized to my blogging self for selfishly taking all of our time and my blogging self has graciously accepted the apology...lol! Abeg o!! I no fit shout!
So quite a lot has happened to me and to the world since the last time I was here. Michael Jackson passed on and I was amazed at the sheer outflow of emotions that trailed the passage of this man who was usually a victim of global villification for most of his life time. I mean, the last time I remember seeing people of all nations so unified in grief was after 9/11 when Osama bin Hiden's ( where the hell is that dude newayz?) goons brought down WTC.
Even my grand-aunt in the village heard of the passing of the legend and she was so sad she lost her appetite...lol. Even though M.J. has proved to be even more controversial in death than he was alive, I still mourn the passing of this mega-talented dude who in my opinion, was hounded out of life by the very people who are shedding crocodile tears now.
A moment of silence for Michael: May his soul rest in peace.
Another great guy that passed on during this time was my dad. Yep! He passed on at the ripe old age of 92. My first reaction when I heard of his death was: "My father cannot die!!!" Don't blame me. When you know a my father like I knew him, you just can't begin to conjure up images of him lying down lifeless. He was so full of life and verve...I'll dedicate my next blog entry to my father. He was a great guy. Another moment of silence: Rest in peace sir.
Oh yes!
There's been a major shake-up in the banking industry with some bank ogas who before now paraded squeaky clean credentials, thrown out of work and handed over to the corruption investigation agencies for alleged abuse of office. The charges are overwhelming and will be damning if proved as true at the end of the day. While good old cynical me says nothing will come out of all the drama at the end of the day, a larger part of me hopes that that the new CBN helmsman follows through on ensuring that these people face the law if found guilty.
Maybe then, we can start taking ourselves serious about fighting the hydra called corruption.
I say I dey come...
So I have promised myself that I am not going to start with any lame promises about how I am back to blogsville for good and will post at least once every week and yada yada yada. I think I have proved to myself and to my one (or is it two sef) followers that I am incapable of keeping that promise. The exigencies or work crowd my plate and I barely have enough space for myself. Anyway, my work self has apologized to my blogging self for selfishly taking all of our time and my blogging self has graciously accepted the apology...lol! Abeg o!! I no fit shout!
So quite a lot has happened to me and to the world since the last time I was here. Michael Jackson passed on and I was amazed at the sheer outflow of emotions that trailed the passage of this man who was usually a victim of global villification for most of his life time. I mean, the last time I remember seeing people of all nations so unified in grief was after 9/11 when Osama bin Hiden's ( where the hell is that dude newayz?) goons brought down WTC.
Even my grand-aunt in the village heard of the passing of the legend and she was so sad she lost her appetite...lol. Even though M.J. has proved to be even more controversial in death than he was alive, I still mourn the passing of this mega-talented dude who in my opinion, was hounded out of life by the very people who are shedding crocodile tears now.
A moment of silence for Michael: May his soul rest in peace.
Another great guy that passed on during this time was my dad. Yep! He passed on at the ripe old age of 92. My first reaction when I heard of his death was: "My father cannot die!!!" Don't blame me. When you know a my father like I knew him, you just can't begin to conjure up images of him lying down lifeless. He was so full of life and verve...I'll dedicate my next blog entry to my father. He was a great guy. Another moment of silence: Rest in peace sir.
Oh yes!
There's been a major shake-up in the banking industry with some bank ogas who before now paraded squeaky clean credentials, thrown out of work and handed over to the corruption investigation agencies for alleged abuse of office. The charges are overwhelming and will be damning if proved as true at the end of the day. While good old cynical me says nothing will come out of all the drama at the end of the day, a larger part of me hopes that that the new CBN helmsman follows through on ensuring that these people face the law if found guilty.
Maybe then, we can start taking ourselves serious about fighting the hydra called corruption.
I say I dey come...
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Not as strong as I thot
I pride myself with always been in control of my life and emotions. I was never agitated or panicky about what tomorrow would bring. I used to tell myself that the headache of surviving the next minute was enough and so I would take every day as it came and make the best of it.
I am not given to much talking because I grew up with a mind set that there was strength in silence; a certain impenetrable resilience occassioned by my operating in my soundless void. So even while in the presence or company of a cacophonous mob like my group of friends, I was always the "extremely quiet and inscrutable" one.
That is, perhaps, why I don't indulge in achohol. I fear that my tongue will get loosened in my inebriated stage and I would give too much away. So while I sometimes admire the wanton liberties that come with inebriation observed in others, I would stoically stick to my non-achoholic beverages. My friends, (that riotous bunch of youths I hang and roll with) would always throw jabs at me by ordering "pure water" for me whenever we hang out. lol. I was like the proverbial "whitened sepulchre" Cool and calm on the exterior, but deep withing, another story all together.
I used to feel like I needed to be responsible for my actions and decisions, however they turned out. It would kinda feel silly to me if I had to explain away a bad outcome with the dim witted excuse that I was drunk and out of my mind. I was reading recently about a popular celebrity who got drunk and rammed her SUV into another car, killing the occupant, a young and upwardly mobile medical practitioner.
Bottomline is that I used to feel like I was always in control of my emotions. Which is why I am a bit baffled by my recent emotional disposition to certain life-changing occurences in my life.
Firstly, it was the panic that gripped me during the recent "right-sizing" (read, RETRENCHMENT) that happened at my workplace. The issue then was that it suddenly occured to me that if I was affected, I did not have a Plan B. I had poured my entire life and resources into one pot and now that pot had developed holes and was now sinking fast. Worse still, I didn't even have the proverbial straw to cling to. Thankfully, that exercise came and went and I am still here (still have a job, that is.)
I heaved a sigh of relief, but I guess I did that too soon. My services to the business has been outsourced to another company. In a very short while, I would have a different employer. Now, I would most likely be sitting at the same desk I am now and carrying out the same functions I am carrying out now. But my paymaster would be different.
As if that wasn't bad enough, my little girl turned two recently (happy birthday luv) and it is suddenly dawning on me that she is growing into a young lady and it is my responsibility to equip her with the resources she would need to survive in life. The thing is that I am beginning to question my parenting skills:
Do I spend enough time with her?
Am I morally and spiritually grounded enough to give her the kind of instructions she would require to make those tough decisions in life as she grows older?
Do I have my finances sorted out well enough to ensure she will never have to be sent away from school "because daddy has not (read, CANNOT) pay my fees?
Its somewhat unsettling to note that I have not been able to give myself convincing answers to these posers though I have spent quite some time ruminating on them. It keeps me awake for long hours during the night.
As if that wasn't bad enough, we recently took delivery of number 2; a healthy, fair-complexioned, 4.2kg bundle of joy. Huge boy, I tell you!!! Lol. Suddenly, my sleepessness has doubled...Lord help me.
Spoke to a friend and he told me I must be going through a mid-life crises. It sounded like a logical explanation until it occured to me...I have not reached what I would term mid-life yet!! Perhaps the way i feel right now is a consequence of certain wrong decisions I took earlier on in life. Or perhaps, i am just not as strong as I once thought I was...
I dey come...
I am not given to much talking because I grew up with a mind set that there was strength in silence; a certain impenetrable resilience occassioned by my operating in my soundless void. So even while in the presence or company of a cacophonous mob like my group of friends, I was always the "extremely quiet and inscrutable" one.
That is, perhaps, why I don't indulge in achohol. I fear that my tongue will get loosened in my inebriated stage and I would give too much away. So while I sometimes admire the wanton liberties that come with inebriation observed in others, I would stoically stick to my non-achoholic beverages. My friends, (that riotous bunch of youths I hang and roll with) would always throw jabs at me by ordering "pure water" for me whenever we hang out. lol. I was like the proverbial "whitened sepulchre" Cool and calm on the exterior, but deep withing, another story all together.
I used to feel like I needed to be responsible for my actions and decisions, however they turned out. It would kinda feel silly to me if I had to explain away a bad outcome with the dim witted excuse that I was drunk and out of my mind. I was reading recently about a popular celebrity who got drunk and rammed her SUV into another car, killing the occupant, a young and upwardly mobile medical practitioner.
Bottomline is that I used to feel like I was always in control of my emotions. Which is why I am a bit baffled by my recent emotional disposition to certain life-changing occurences in my life.
Firstly, it was the panic that gripped me during the recent "right-sizing" (read, RETRENCHMENT) that happened at my workplace. The issue then was that it suddenly occured to me that if I was affected, I did not have a Plan B. I had poured my entire life and resources into one pot and now that pot had developed holes and was now sinking fast. Worse still, I didn't even have the proverbial straw to cling to. Thankfully, that exercise came and went and I am still here (still have a job, that is.)
I heaved a sigh of relief, but I guess I did that too soon. My services to the business has been outsourced to another company. In a very short while, I would have a different employer. Now, I would most likely be sitting at the same desk I am now and carrying out the same functions I am carrying out now. But my paymaster would be different.
As if that wasn't bad enough, my little girl turned two recently (happy birthday luv) and it is suddenly dawning on me that she is growing into a young lady and it is my responsibility to equip her with the resources she would need to survive in life. The thing is that I am beginning to question my parenting skills:
Do I spend enough time with her?
Am I morally and spiritually grounded enough to give her the kind of instructions she would require to make those tough decisions in life as she grows older?
Do I have my finances sorted out well enough to ensure she will never have to be sent away from school "because daddy has not (read, CANNOT) pay my fees?
Its somewhat unsettling to note that I have not been able to give myself convincing answers to these posers though I have spent quite some time ruminating on them. It keeps me awake for long hours during the night.
As if that wasn't bad enough, we recently took delivery of number 2; a healthy, fair-complexioned, 4.2kg bundle of joy. Huge boy, I tell you!!! Lol. Suddenly, my sleepessness has doubled...Lord help me.
Spoke to a friend and he told me I must be going through a mid-life crises. It sounded like a logical explanation until it occured to me...I have not reached what I would term mid-life yet!! Perhaps the way i feel right now is a consequence of certain wrong decisions I took earlier on in life. Or perhaps, i am just not as strong as I once thought I was...
I dey come...
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